The Best Present Is.........

Paying It Forward in Abilene, Kansas

by Dr. Lisa Eastman

Linda Douglas is frequently seen at Abilene auctions. What you might not know is that she is making purchases to help people in need.

Douglas said, “Juanita Bermilla and I help people in town with food. We help pregnant women get clothes, toys and bedding for the babies. We go to auctions to buy furniture to help people that move to town and don’t have anything. We also take the elderly to the doctor and fix their meals for them. We pay everything forward.” 

On the question of why she does so much for others Linda replied, “I enjoy helping people because I grew up taking care of my mama. She was disabled and had three kids after I was born. I raised them also. To this day if they have a problem they call me to help them out. When I was in school, I always made friends with the mentally challenged for they couldn't take care of themselves.”

Douglas became a certified nurse's aid to be able to continue her mission to help people after graduating from high school. An accident left her disabled but she still continues her efforts despite that. “23 years ago I was in a bad accident. I had to learn to walk, talk and everything for myself again. Now I am the disabled one. So I pay it forward. I can't work. Some days I can't even walk because the pain is so bad. On our good days Juanita and I go and find things to buy for the young pregnant women. We will go and give food to those who don't have it. I miss my elderly who actually need the love and understanding of a person who takes care of them.”

There is a concept within Christianity known as “good works.”  Pastor Shane Britt of Emmanuel Church shared his thoughts on the subject. “That is a lot of what Jesus taught (good works) and the example he set. He spoke a lot about how it is our responsibility to help. At the church, we try to help when we can. In Christianity the works become evidence of your faith.”

The more contemporary version of good works might very well be the concept of “paying it forward.” The first mention of this idea was printed in a book by author Lily Hardy Hammond way back in 1916. Hammond wrote, "You don't pay love back; you pay it forward."

Despite the fact that it was first mentioned almost 100 years ago, it has only become well known much more recently. The movie “Pay it Forward” starring Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt and Haley Joe Osment was released in the year 2000. This was where many of us first became acquainted with the notion.

The idea is that when someone does something nice for you, instead of returning the favor, you do something for someone else, thus instead of paying it back we are paying it forward.

Regardless of whether you want to call it “good works” or “paying it forward,” the uniting theme is that of altruism. Altruism is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “feelings and behavior that show a desire to help other people and a lack of selfishness.”

When Earl Breeden suffered a massive stroke that left him in need of around-the-clock care, his wife Sabrina was working a lot of hours to pay all the expenses. Then their only vehicle was involved in an accident and no longer drivable.

Breeden’s daughter-in-law, Julie Breeden said, "She took her car into Holt Motors and she explained to them she only wanted a quote. They fixed everything and delivered it to their house for free. They understood what they were going through. They said it was one of the perks of living in a small town and just to help someone else out if they ever could."

There are many reasons for us to want to be involved with helping others. Much scientific research has been devoted to the study of altruism and what motivates us to want to help others. The University of California-Berkley has devoted many resources to this subject through the Greater Good Science Center. They are specifically looking for “the science of a meaningful life.”

Researchers have many studies suggesting that the benefits of giving are great. Altruism makes us happy, healthy, promotes social connections and can even help us financially. It can also be beneficial to our love lives, since kindness is very high up on the list of desirable qualities in selecting a life partner.

Berkley’s Greater Good Science Center lists 6 habits of happiness that are worth cultivating. Pay attention, give thanks, drop grudges, keep friends close, get moving and practice kindness.

Abilene has many people that not only practice kindness but are also happy to lend a helping hand.

Jo Schwartz has a long history with Kiwanis. She helps with The Place and has even traveled to Africa to help orphans. She also takes great pleasure in the simple act of buying a soldier’s meal, when she can get away with doing it on the sly.

Schwartz explained,  "It makes your life go better and you feel better when you do things for others. When you do something like that and no one knows, it’s a euphoric feeling. It puts a smile on my face that will last the whole day."

Jo Schwartz - photo by Lisa Eastman

Retired mail carrier Elly Cauthon always had a treat ready for the dogs on her route. She would make a mental note of animals that needed help while delivering the mail. “I would see a dog or cat that didn’t seem to have any food or water and on my break or after work I would go back and take it to them.” When asked if she was ever bitten on her route she shook her head and replied. “No, never. I was afraid of dogs when I began working for the post office. Then I started to understand them.”

Elly Cauthon - photo by Lisa Eastman

Paul Badding with 4-C Ministries cuts and delivers wood for people that need it to heat their homes. They also help mothers with formula and diapers. This is the second year that they have been providing this service. They can be reached through their Facebook page, 4-C Ministries or by calling Paul at 785-280-3387.

Ashlie Wendt was on the receiving end of the kindness and generosity of Dickinson County residents after her 7 year old son was involved in a terrible accident last summer. One local woman gave a $100 gas card to Wendt even though she was struggling financially herself after the death of her husband. An Enterprise couple on a fixed income searched out special turtle balloons for the injured boy.

Pastor Britt from Emmanuel Church was credited with being a life saver by Wendt. The pastor and the women of the church helped with food and other necessities.  There was even an anonymous donation of $750 into Wendt’s bank account.

 Wendt shared, “I was in tears. It’s amazing how many people gave when I know they didn't have extra money but they gave anyway.”

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